Are you looking for high quality pirate merchandise at low, low prices? Then you'd better look somewhere else. But if you want shoddily made pirate junk for only slightly more than you'd pay at your local store, shipped directly to you in 6 to 8 weeks, then this is the place for you!
 

Weapons

  
wooden sword

Wooden Sword 

This handsome wooden sword is finely hand-crafted from the finest wooden sticks and some fine string.
plastic sword

Deluxe Plastic Sword 

This shiny chrome-looking sword comes with a fancy gold-colored handle.
big rock

Big Rock 

It may not look like much but this rock can come in mighty handy when you need something heavy to throw. Also useful as a paperweight!
smackin' stick

The Smacking Stick 

Good for smackin'!
deluxe stick

Deluxe Smacking Stick 

Smack people in style. Magical powers not included.
stake

Wooden Stake 

For those pesky vampires.
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Accessories

  
viking hat

Viking Hat 

Use this trusty helmet to protect your head and poke your enemies with the conveniently located pointy horns.
ship in a bottle Ship in a Bottle 

Here's a fine addition to any captain's cabin: the Ship in a Bottle, hand-made by pirate monkeys.
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Equipment

  
pirate scope

Pirate Scope 

You can tell this authentic Pirate Scope is a genuine authentic pirate monkey Pirate Scope by the authentic skull-and-crossbones logo and the fact that is has "pirate scope" written on the side there. See it? Right there. Pirate Scope. Accept no substitutes.
(Pirate scope may not actually magnify things).
'thank you' bag

"Thank You" bag 

Why go a-pillagin' with an ordinary sack when you could instead use this handy plastic bag that has "Thank you" printed on it in big, friendly red letters? Your victims will appreciate that you went the extra mile to say "pirate monkeys care" and you'll love the convenient, built-in handles and durable, water-resistant plastic-like material. Stores a whole pile o' loot!
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